When a person is freshly out of a relationship – a long one- it’s not even easy to know how to proceed. Should I be sad? Or happy? Or relieved? Is that even a breakup? Every ending to a relationship is different, but most are hurtful and leave scars that take a long time to heal.
When it comes to travel-related relationships, it’s no different. And in many cases, it’s even worse. Since you know the time is short and the attraction is strong, passion and connection may be lived in a flash.
A cross-cultural breakup
Multicultural relationships are hard as they are, but knowing they are temporary…
Something is horribly wrong when, after a long night of crying, we’ve got to put ourselves together and go to work, to school, or simply “get out there” after the most amazing love story in paradise. Why should we? It’s not like we have to pretend to be OK all the time, right? NO. It’s perfectly fine to grief, and to mourn everything that ended, but it’s NOT cool to fall into depression, or to overeat, or to dress in rags, out of total lack of energy to fix up.
If asking friends, what would they say?
“Get over it, he wasn’t even worth it! Put yourself together and find someone new”
“You cry, let it all out”,
“It’s a long process, but you’ll get there…”.
To attempt skipping the bitter steps ahead, here are some things you can do:
Thought before talk
It is very important to organize your thoughts before you show up a wreck to your friend’s door. Take a minute (or an hour)—cry, yell, throw things around, but be with yourself first. Put away your suitcase, cry your eyes out if needed, deal with the feeling of emptiness.
There’s no need to overthink what happened- Turn things into memories. Make it easy on yourself, don’t start idealizing the guy and forget all the rough paths you went through. Push it all to the back of your mind, until you can see clearly and objectively all that it was, and all that it WASN’T.
Don’t torture yourself
After a breakup, Many people’s first move is to put on melancholic music and start to store everything, or throw things away, or destroy all that reminds them of the recently gone man; of course, while they cry uncontrollably and look back the wonderful idea of “soulmates forever”.
Skip this step until you feel ready to do it calmly and without such a bleeding heart, there may be things you find you’ll want to keep, just as a memento of all the good stuff.
Keep a cool head
If things ended for good, it’s probable you’ll feel lost and alone, but remember you’ve got friends to keep those thoughts away and take you out. Don’t say no, even if you don’t feel much like going out, you’ll be better off with people who love you than alone at home with your crazy thoughts.
Try a new hairdo, a new vacation site, a new restaurant, new clothing styles, a new diet… Don’t be afraid to try anything you haven’t tried before. You’ll have a blast and you’ll learn more about yourself than you think. You may even find Latin dancing is your guilty pleasure!
There’s no need to avoid getting mad- Why did it end, if it started out so fantastic? Drive down on Memory Lane and realize what you could have done differently. Accept your mistakes and learn from them; a wonderful exercise to realize how wrong your everyday interactions are.
If there are no mistakes to acknowledge, focus on the future. If more than lovers, you were also friends, focus on keeping that friendship and staying in touch. In the long run, that is something that is far more valuable.
It’s all about how you take it. It’s painful to a certain extent, but you can make it as easy as you want. There is no need for a you to suffer over something that wasn’t meant to be, instead of opening her eyes to all good things to come. A breakup is not the end of the world, as painful as it may be.
Believe me when I say it will always remain in your mind, but it shouldn’t be a gray and sour post in your life’s blog, but an adventure that taught you about growth, relationships, and men.